But let’s go backwards and quickly revisit the last year. Within a week of being home from Alaska, I moved down to Houston to begin work at UPS as a co-op. It was everything I needed; very little of what I wanted (but I wore shorts 3 days a week, so no complaints).

After spending most of Christmas Break enjoying the company of my family, I took a trip to Big Bend with Travis, Kevin, and Jordan. If you like pictures, journals, or trip maps, then I think you’ll find that we covered it all. After moving back down to College Station to begin my last year at A&M, I found myself emersed in a design course, playing softball, and sharing meals with wonderful friends. Spring Break was a 2500+ mile excursion to watch the Ramsey and Nethers weddings with a 3 day Habitat build in New Orleans in between. The next week I went back to Dallas to see Griff and Kami wed from a 3rd straight. Now, I’m just trying catch my breath before beginning an internship with Andersen Windows’ in the Logistic department in Stillwater, Minnesota (~1/2 hour from St. Paul/Minneapolis – I told you this was an old email!).

Forgetfulness seems to be inheritly human. Already handicapped by time, we can’t even seem to remember the limited details from our limited lives. Or worse, we’re consumed with ourselves and we forget the obvious like don’t invade Russia in the winter. Ask Hitler and Napoleon how it worked out. The half of the Bible tells the story of an absent-minded nation, who watched the Red Sea miraculously separate, only to have the same generation turn foreign gods.

Yet as quick as I am to point to everyone else’s follies, it’s only because I can’t remember my own. Racing towards a December graduation has me slightly concerned – not so much about what to do – I love engineering (too much, perhaps). Nor is it making a bad choice… the fear is making the uncorrectable choice – whatever that is. Sure, it is a fear born out of faithlessness, but real all the same. Maybe I should remind myself of the story of the forgetters before me. For as often as Israel lost her way, the Lord stood faithfully by her side in mercy.

Thank you, dear friends, for reminding me who I am.

— published April 2008, but back dated to reflect May 2007 when it was written

Related posts:

1. #24
2. #12
3. #34 – A Heart 3 Sizes Too Small

The following story occurred while hiking in Arkansas on the second and final night.

Around midnight I woke up for the third time. Maybe it was the cold air, maybe the hard ground, or maybe it was the strange noises coming from 5 feet away. I’m guessing the latter, but honestly who knows. Either way, the animal sounds got most of my attention as I reached for my headlamp. As I ‘let there be light’, a raccoon appeared. A snarling contest ensued, which I thought I had won until I noticed the raccoon had already stolen my shoe before I awoke!! Thankfully the taste of Chaco isn’t very appetizing, as my annoying friend deposited the sandal 10 feet away from my bed. But ohhhhh the one-legged jig I danced to go those 10 feet must have been hilarious. The raccoon certainly loved it because it came back for an encore an hour later. This time it woke me by trying to steal my backpack/pillow, but I had a song for him to sing. Unfortunately, the bashful raccoon came down with stage fright when I put my spotlight on him, leaving me with nothing to do but sleep. Well, that was until he started the whole game again and again. Point of the story: None. Sorry if you were looking for something more. To appease you, I leave you with this adage: Don’t take yourself so seriously that you can’t laugh at yourself, especially when a flirty raccoon interrupts your sleep.

Related posts:

1. Never Hike Alone
2. #36 – On forgetfulness
3. #32 – Life in the Backcountry

Nearly 8 years ago I discovered that at elevations above 8,000 feet I became susceptible to a condition called High Altitude Pulmonary Edema (HAPE). Now, for those of you without a medical degree, HAPE is a condition where the lungs fill with fluid because the air sacs stop working properly. If untreated, suffocation and even death can occur. So why do the air sacs stop functioning? Honestly, doctors really aren’t a 100% sure. Still, I think I remember, while in and out of consciousness in the hospital, someone saying something about the fact that my heart had shrunk. It’s probably not true, but still it’s fun to think about. What if it really does shrink? Would I qualify as a “grinch” if my heart is three sizes too small?

Ridiculous, I know, but what does cause a heart to shrink? Why are we so callous, so desensitized, so uncompassionate, and often so cruel? More to the point, how can we put on a heart of compassion to reach out to people with sincerity? I believe it can’t be done unless we are laboring to kill the evil desires of our own heart. One of the worst consequences of immorality is that it hardens a man’s heart. Stony hearts do not melt into compassionate hearts without effort. The trouble is that sin also “weakens the soul and deprives it of its strength.” By his own strength, no man can love sacrificially if he continually throws his heart to vices. Soon his vices will be his only love. Mortifying any fleshly lust takes much labor, but who does the laboring? I’d submit that unless we kill deeds of the body by the Spirit, we will never have any success (or life). So, may we not neglect to practice self-scrutiny when needed, but not go so far as to become foolishly self consumed or guilt-trip ourselves into hopelessness or depression. May He strengthen us this week to live holy lives so that those who do not believe may glorify God because of our good deeds.

Reese

***John Owen’s The Mortification of Sin influenced and inspired much of this e-mail. None of it is an original thought but a poor rewording.

Related posts:

1. Blindside – “Silence”
2. #17
3. #1

Spending the summer overseas put most of my life on hold. So once I set foot in the DFW Airport, the combination of reality mixed with a very slight taste of culture shock just didn’t sit well in my stomach. The part that I found so hard to swallow wasn’t the fast-paced American materialistic life. No, my love for our country grew stronger – Communism can do that. One of the more difficult things for me to grasp was this awful fact that each day brings me closer to life on my own. Lately, these thoughts of graduation are consuming my mind. Choosing the right career (or avoiding one altogether), being financially independent, and leaving all my good friends in College Station is of no concern compared to this verse in Proverbs 14: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but ends in destruction”. Keep reading and it doesn’t get better…

13 Even in laughter the heart may sorrow,
And the end of joy may be grief.
14 The backslider in heart will be filled with his own ways,

That’s really frightening. As I seek to know which steps to take next, I can’t help but wonder if I’m already heading down the wrong path. These mind games I always lose. So what can I do? For one, be obedient to the last thing God told me. And listen — listen long — long enough to know which voice is actually speaking to me; long enough to hear the still, quiet whispers of my God who is inexhaustibly wise, true, and sovereign. Remember “the preparations of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD” (Proverbs 16:1). What then? Dare to do live out those whispers that call to something so impossible that it would be doomed to fail if God’s hand did not see it through from conception to completion. Verse 14 ends, “But a good man will be satisfied with his [way],” lest we think this endeavor lead to unparalleled misery, unwanted celibacy, and every other unpleasant thought misapplied to full devotion to God. I leave you with this quote by CS Lewis:

“Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

The Favorites

Music: Did you know that if you have a home network and iTunes you can share music legally? We can play songs from any one of my 5 roommates computer without downloading it on to each computer. Point being is that I have a load of new music to listen to, including Ross King.

Books: The Goal: A Process of Ongoing Improvement by Eli Goldratt. It’s required reading for my Intro to Production Systems class, but it’s really good! I never knew a book about manufacturing could be so interesting. Also I’ve been visiting JR Vassar’s blog (http://manhattanpastor.blogspot.com/) and reading some online stuff by John Piper (http://www.desiringgod.org).

Moment: So many honorable mentions: FOCUS, particularly Sunday morning at the Fort Worth Stockyards with Brian and Brett, hiking the Great Wall (don’t believe me, check out the pictures), Tyler Tag, dropping Jennifer off at OU, seeing my family after 10 weeks apart and only two phone calls. But there can only be one winner and it has to be Ivey and Sean’s wedding; every single part of it, but the reception was one to remember forever. The rumor about me dancing is a complete lie! If you see any video that says otherwise, please destroy the phony version of the wedding. Alas, too many stories, jokes, and memories generated from 4 days that I will stop now.

Sports: Beating SMU soundly makes coming home much easier.

Related posts:

1. #2
2. #32 – Life in the Backcountry
3. #14

Every simple thing is better in the backcountry. Take eating. A dinner centered around Spam in a Bottle might cause some to cry, but three famished backpackers would double over in glee. Thankfully, Kevin is a world class chef. So instead, we ate like kings, who only boiled water and occasionally stirred. Still, if we pulled out some Spam for our evening meal, I know that it would have been quite tasty. This held true for drinking, sleeping, the infrequent brushing of the teeth, and everything else except for one thing, cleaning dishes. Not even the backcountry can cure dishwashing. Reading this you might think every step was like walking through a National Geographic magazine. How far from true, most of the time my eyes watched for rocks and fallen trees, and the rest I looked at Kevin or Doug’s backpack. Along the entire 45 miles of trail we hiked, we only found about 5 truly breathtaking views. The pictures can hardly capture the majesty of the Ozarks, but we also hiked the most scenic sections of the 165 mile trail. My point is that our trip was not memorable because of scenery. It was the journey.

Life is that way. The daily grind of life as 21st century American is far from awe-inspiring in and of itself. We must have something outside ourselves to even have a hope at giving life some meaning. Ascending our personal mountains will eventually fatigue us to exhaustion if our whole purpose is the top. Soon even the mountain tops will lose their mystique. Few are the men who can walk through the mundane, ordinary parts of life while keeping his perspective fixed on the Eternal journey. Only with a heart and mind fighting to remain aware of the ever presence of his Maker, can a man even attempt to live in such a way. Even fewer is she who has no concern where the Lord leads her, but simply has faith that wherever the need He will never leave her side. This is her greatest delight. If her journey leads to the highest of all the mountains, praise God for the abundance, but if she crosses miles of forest so thick that even the evergreens grow brown, praise God for He alone sustains. These faithful pilgrims, strangers, and aliens, scattered across the world, live in the present with ‘a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for us’. Journey long.

-Reese

Favorites:

Music: It’s gotta be Hootie and the Blowfish, even at the risk of your teasing. Although I honestly don’t understand how you can make such a good first CD, and fail to record another good song, let alone album. Anyway, we listened to Hootie to and from Arkansas, and it was wonderful traveling music.

Book: Anything by Cornelius Van Til or his former student Greg Bahnsen, especially The Defense of the Faith by Van Til.

Sports: Come on, it’s the beginning of the baseball season, and I’m still rooting for my Cubbies. It’s no coincidence my birthday falls near the beginning of Opening Day. I am so glad that baseball has returned. (Did the Baylor ladies really win the Tourney??)

Moment: In a month full of great memories, I must tell one more backpacking story. On Sunday morning, we had to make our only trail change of the trip, but because the sign seemed to be missing we weren’t sure which way to go. As our uncertainty about where to go peaked, a stray dog seemed to be telling us to follow him down a trail we had not seen. Ok, well he just wouldn’t stop barking until he got our attention. White Rock, as we would later call him, proved to be quite the navigator. For the next 35 miles, White Rock led us along the Ozark Highlands Trail before we had to say goodbye.

Related posts:

1. White Rock Mountain
2. Spring Break 2006
3. #9