Wednesday June 8, 2005


Wow, I’ve wanted to write for about 2 days and fill in all the random things that have been goin gon. Excuse that Reese cliche. So its been more of the same roller-coaster, but I hope it is leveling out. I’m finding it difficult to love our whole team. How did Jesus love so deeply? My love is so weak, powerless, and shifting, but how consistently abundant is God’s love of me, all of me. The depths, the heights… so how has it all turned around? Why is my soul findingrest where there was only agitation before? I do not know, but may I learn to praise God in the valleys, and as James (Fitzwater) so wisely said, ‘seek the peace of God’. Oh, more and more, this is my heart’s desire, to please Him and find comfort in His shade. David and I had a mini argument today about how we should pay the cab driver, who didn’t have change for our 100 kwai bill. After an intense exchange, I gave into Dave’s demands to pay the driver the 100 kwai and not receive our change. I suppose it could have been generous if the motivation had been pure. David had been harboring serious anger and emotional problems and this incident gave release to all that frustration. As bizarre as that all was, it helps me love David more because he needs mercy and someone to help bear his burdens. When Dave doesn’t try to play it off like he’s got everything in control, it really does irritate me.

Yet, it is different than the difficulties I have with Brad. May God completely rework my heart to teach me to find something lovely in him because all I can see are the annoying things. But my beef with the team can be put aside. These Russian girls, by the way, play the greatest music! I’ve heard Queen, Eric Clapton, and maybe even some Louis Armstrong.

So now, the the important story. GuLei. I met him after a power dump in the squaty potty. The power dump came after a violent prayer from God’s presence and peace to be strengthen me to love and serve His children. God heard my prayer a nd sustained me. After praying a psalm, I approached GuLei to ask him what he was reading. To my surprise, he answered in clear English. How instantly I thought God had brought us together to save him. As we talked, he kept apologizing for his nervousness, and it was hard for him to finish his thoughts sometimes. Still, God worked and His name was proclaimed.

So, GuLei and I met again tonight to discuss more. This time I had the chance to share more about the one true God, the only way to true freedom, something GuLei desperately desires. He wants to be the master of his own life, but he knows that other will always control big parts of it. There were two paths and we talked about the spiritual significance of walking down the wrong path and the right path – how God guides us and directs our steps along the path. Still, GuLei seemed unaffected and we discussed that God is a holy God, how even a single sin separates us from Him. Since we have sinned, we need a mediator, Jesus, to stand in our place. Not only did GuLei not seem phased, but he did not even think he needed a a mediator because he wasn’t convinced of his sin. His rebuttal was that people in China don’t believe that. How I wish I could have told him the number of Chinese who trust in Jesus. After all this, I do not know what will come of it, but I am hopeful God will reveal himself to GuLei, to Dragon, to Michael, to Collin, and to the other students who we have met.